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For Poz Guys
Tips
on Talking About HIV Status
by Letisha V. & Dani D.
Divulging
your HIV status:
-
It's important to let your partner know upfront about your
status, if you're in the middle of heavy petting and stop
to say, "Oh, and by the way...", it's not fair
to your partner.
-
If you can't be upfront about it you are only putting others
at risk, and that is worse than being rejected based on
your status.
-
If privacy is your main concern then a bathhouse or bar
is probably the wrong place, but there are private rooms/areas
where you can discuss these heavy issues.
-
If your partner can't handle HIV in this day and age, it
probably wasn't worth wasting your time anyways.
Receiving
the info:
- Acknowledge
the fact that they're considering your health by telling
you their status, and this is a good time to disclose your
status as well.
-
Respect him by keeping this information to yourself and
trust that since he told you he will tell future partners
about it too.
-
If you are uncomfortable, be honest, your awkwardness will
be obvious anyway. Besides, honesty can lead to more interesting
and creative sex and everybody knows that uptight sex is
no fun.
-
HIV issues are rough, but hot protected sex can be too!
- And
remember... drugs & alcohol don't always lead to the
best decision making. If you know you're gonna drink or
do druugs before going to the bar or bathhouse, or hooking
up on-line, make a plan ahead of time on how you can be
safe even when you're drunk or high.
Be
Safe & Have Fun!
Poz-on-Poz
Sex
When two positive men get together the question of whether
to remove condoms
from the scene will often arise. Many positive men do
not use condoms with other positive partners. Following
is a review of some issues to consider and how to minimize
risks.
Sexually
transmitted diseases. Fucking other positive guys
without condoms can increase your risk of exposure to other
STDs.
Most of these can be treated but some can be more difficult
to treat if you have HIV. Cytomegalovirus can become a serious
opportunistic illness in HIV-positive people. While in some
cases HAART may minimize the impact of an STD, in other people
STDs can cause serious permanent damage to positive guys.
Some STDs (herpes, genital warts) can be spread even if you
are using condoms. Also, having HIV makes it easier for you
to get and pass on other STDs. If you are HIV-positive and
sexually active it is highly recommended that you get
screened for STDs every 3 months to avoid potential permanent
damage to your health.
Reinfection.
For some time there has been a debate about what risks are
posed to positive men by exposure to different strains of
HIV, and whether such exposure can result in re-infection
(or "super infection") where someone is infected
with more than one type of HIV. The presumed risk to an already
positive guy would be from acquiring a drug resistant straing
that may result in more rapid damage to the immune system,
limit treatment options, and/or affect the success of current
treatment.
Despite
this debate, however, there is little evidence about whether
it is possible to get reinfected with another strain of HIV;
it is considered a rare event. If your partner has a resistant
straing then you should talk to your doctor about respective
treatment histories and risk reduction strategies. If neither
partner has drug resistance the risk, though unknown, may
be very low.
Sexual
discrimination and HIV
Positive guys face a lot of stigma in the dating world. A
few years ago, an Australian survey showed these results:
-
80% of (HIV-negative) gay men felt that positive gay men
should disclose their HIV-status in sexual situations.
-
Yet, if disclosure did occur, then 70% of these men would
reject these potential partners.
That's
quite a mixed message. Tell me if you are positive, but don't
expect me to fuck around with you if you are. There is a shared
responsibility here. If negative guys expect positive guys
to reveal their status, they should be prepared to hear that
information and respond in a manner that is respectful, sensitive
and responsible. Giving someone a hostile rejection will not
encourage them to reveal their status in the future. Are you
prepared for a positive response?
For
positive guys who want to talk about their sexual health
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