Penis Pumps

We Can't All Be John Holmes
It's a foregone conclusion that, as men, we are obsessed with our cock size. At some point we've all taken a ruler to our stiffy, and probably added on a half-inch or so, just for good measure. And we would go to great lengths to stretch it out even more. Unfortunately, modern science has yet to develop a viable tool for unnatural male enhancement. There are pills to help you get it up like Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, but nothing to really get you out and around.

One resource for guys looking to improve their girth is the ever-famous penis pump. While super-spy Austin Powers prefers the Swedish variety, penis pumps do come in different shapes, sizes, colors and machinations. It should be noted that the effects of the penis pump are temporary, and will make you wider rather than longer. So, if you've always wanted a beer can dick, pump away, but you'll still have to go out and buy that new towel rack. Penis pumps were originally designed to do exactly what Viagra and other similar drugs now do, to help you achieve and maintain an erection. But there are many guys out there who use them as sex toys, to get off and to grow.

How does it work?
Penis pumps work on the basic vacuum principal. There is a cylindrical housing that you stick your dick in, and some sort of pumping mechanism on the other end (more on those later). You should lube up your dick, and the rubber gasket along the base of the pump shaft, in order to create a vacuum seal. Then, pump! As air is sucked out of the cylinder tube the vacuum exerts force on your penis, pulling it forward and increasing blood flow. If you can't get an erection, this'll do the trick. If you have no trouble getting it up, this will expand the blood flow through your penis, eventually increasing the size. Again, the effects are only temporary.

There are four different types of pumping mechanisms. The Plunger will push air out of the cylinder as you pump it down. The Squeeze Ball is akin to the blood pressure cuff that is used by doctors. The little rubber ball is squeezed, pumping air out of the cylinder shaft. The Hand Grip is considered to be sturdier than other kinds of pumps, and more precise at measuring pressure since it comes with a gauge so you know how much you're using. And finally, the Electric variety is on the high end of the pumps, but is regulated at different settings and is hands free, allowing you to explore, er, other things.

Yee-ouch! Check yo' self before you wreck yo' self…
Now, your cock is precious. For most men, it is their favorite organ, and many are reluctant to do anything that might hurt it. That is why you must be careful when pumping. If you get carried away, go too fast, or do it too much, you could end up causing permanent damage to your dick. Some complications have resulted in ruptured veins, a bruised shaft, burst blood vessels, strained ligaments and gangrene. I'm sure you can agree that this is nothing to fuck around with.

The best recommendation is to go slow at first, and control your self. With any of the devices listed above, you should only pump a little bit at first, and then check to see if anything is going wrong. Pain and/or bruising on the shaft are two dead giveaways. But, if nothing happens, it feels good, and seems to be working, pump a little more. Again, it's a good idea just to take it easy. Don't expect instant results. Most hardcore pumpers have said that it takes several months to notice any real difference. First-timers should limit their pumping sessions to no more than 20 minutes, gradually working their way up to 30 minutes over time. And give your dick a rest. Take a few days off between pumping so that your cock has a chance to relax and adjust.

Again, doing too much, too fast, and too often can result in permanent damage to your dick. Go slow!!

Pumping your cock is kind of like getting a blowjob. Again, it's the suction principal. Getting off can be the intended use of the pump, or maybe just a nice side effect. At any rate, it should feel good. If it hurts or you notice any bruising, that means that it is not working correctly and you should stop. Pumps come with operating and safety instructions. This is one product where it is really worth it to read those ahead of time, for your own sake and for the sake of your cock. And go slow, test your limits. Remember: pump smart, pump safe!