Click here to see the results of our 2006 Crystal Meth survey

STAYING OFF CRYSTAL - You Can Do It!

For friends, family and partners of gay/bi men who use crystal

Strength Over Speed

The Trouble With Tina…

“Almost one year ago, my friend Stan died from a crystal overdose. That was 3 months after my other friend Sean was found dead in a park in south Seattle. The last person to see him alive was his drug dealer. I know other brilliant, talented, funny, delicious people who are no longer part of my life because they are now dead from banging too much speed, getting AIDS from speed, or just… disappearing. All of them tried so hard to quit. Swore every weekend that this would be it. And they could never get out from underneath. I am sad about that. Sad that even after a thousand late night phone calls, countless talks over coffee, tears, pleadings, warm shoulders, and even an occasional sharp kick in the ass… I still could not help them. Sad that they all had glimmers of hope but that crystal still won. I am so angry about that. It’s so unfair.”
~ anonymous testimonial posted on www.talkabouttina.org

Meth Understood
There’s been a lot of talk about Tina lately. Organizations in New York City and San Francisco have recently launched ad campaigns targeting the problem. But you might be wondering what exactly is the big deal? Why is crystal more of a problem than any other drug? And what’s the connection between meth and HIV? Well, hold on to your hats, kids, it’s gonna be a “bumpy” ride…

Crystal is a methamphetamine, a stimulant that can produce a sense of self-confidence and often raises levels of energy and stamina. It acts on the brain chemicals dopamine and norepinephrine, which control pleasure and alertness, respectively. It creates a feeling of euphoria, increases energy, prolongs sexual performance, and suppresses appetite. It also lessens your ability and desire to sleep. The high can last anywhere from 8 to 12 hours and is usually followed by a crash – a period of exhaustion, depression, irritability and sometimes paranoia.

It is typically found as a white, yellowish or reddish powder, a waxy solid, or a clear rock. It can be swallowed, snorted, smoked, injected, or inserted anally (“booty bumping”). Crystal is also known as Tina, Crissy, bump, speed, ice, glass, or tweak. On average, a ¼ gram costs about $20.

Meth-Underestimated
A lot of gay guys start using meth to overcome feelings of inadequacy, both in physical appearance and sexual attractiveness. Tina helps them feel better about who they are, what they are, how they look, and how they act. A lot of positive guys take crystal to forget about their HIV for a while. Other guys, deeply entrenched in a homophobic society, find that crystal is the only way they can come to terms with their queer selves. But whatever the reasons you start using, it is incredibly difficult to quit.

A lot of guys overestimate their ability to use crystal. They start off on the weekends, staying up and partying for days. Crystal helps them to dance, socialize, connect and fit in with other guys. It boosts your confidence and improves self-esteem. You rapidly develop a craving-reward addiction cycle in your brain.

“First you feel like James Bond; then you want to kill yourself…”
~ written on a crystal “talking wall” at Dunshee House

“I do crystal sometimes. I think it’s fun. But I don’t do it very often. Most of my friends can’t stop, going on these huge weeklong binges. I do it even less now because I don’t wanna encourage my friends who are out of control.”
~ written on a crystal “talking wall” at Gay City Wellness Center

Immediate use causes a sharp spike in your blood pressure, irregular heartbeats, chest pain and possible overdose. It can also cause damage to your dick or asshole from aggressive, prolonged sex. Crystal turns you into a fuck machine, able to go for hours and hours at a time. It lowers your inhibitions, allowing you to experiment with more aggressive or taboo sex. Prolonged use can lead to excessive weight loss, impaired memory, chronic depression, paranoia, temporary psychosis, impotence, tooth loss, abscesses, soft tissue infections, hepatitis, STDs, and HIV infection. Even when you’ve lost your job, your home, your friends, and you’re turning tricks for another bump and a place to crash for the night, Tina still has you in her grip.

“I had sex with at least ten different guys. I fucked four of them, had my cock in all of their mouths. One guy begged, “let me eat your ass.” I felt like a time bomb had just gone off in my head. I want to cry. I want to tell him I love him. I want to get away. I want more speed. I ask myself, ‘How in the fuck could I do these things knowing I have AIDS?’ and I answer myself, ‘How could you do these things knowing about AIDS?’ I did not come, piss or let anyone rim me, but not one guy asked me to wear a condom. What in the fuck is wrong with us?”
~ anonymous testimonial posted on www.talkabouttina.org

Meth-ing Link
It is estimated that 1 in 5 gay/bi guys who use crystal by non-injection have HIV. 1 in 3 gay/bi guys who inject crystal have HIV. Your chances of getting HIV are 2 to 5 times greater when using crystal.

While it’s true that when you’re high on any drug (including alcohol) your judgment is impaired and you are less likely to be safe. But there seems to be a particular connection between crystal meth use and HIV. Crystal boosts your sex drive but it also causes impotence, or “crystal dick.” This turns a lot of guys into instant, insatiable bottoms. It lowers your inhibitions. Add to that feelings of invincibility and condoms and safe sex go right out the window. Getting fucked raw for hours (sometimes by more than one guy) increases your risk for HIV exponentially, not to mention other STDs. The prolonged rough, raw sex tears up your asshole and/or the skin on your dick, making it easier for bacteria and viruses to get in. Then consider that if your partners aren’t being safe with you… they aren’t being safe with others.

Recent outbreaks of syphilis have been attributed to unsafe sex due to crystal meth use, and now a study out of New York shows a direct connection with injecting crystal and hepatitis C infections.

“When the speed is gone, you need a real life to come back to. One filled with love, understanding, humility, honesty and goals. I’m learning how to do this.”
~ anonymous testimonial posted on www.talkabouttina.org

“I guess I never really knew what a big deal it was until a friend of mine lost his house and most of his friends – this is not like other drugs.”
~ written on a crystal “talking wall” at Gay City Wellness Center

Meth-ing Persons
There is a lot of hopelessness associated with meth addiction, from people not even realizing that they have a problem to feeling like they are unable to escape. The good news is that crystal meth addiction is possible to treat successfully. A lot of guys have to hit rock bottom before they finally decide to get help. It can be very difficult and painful to watch your friends on a downward spiral. It can be even harder to let them go.

The real trick for recovered crystal addicts is finding a way to reintegrate themselves back into sober society. They need to find new friends to replace the ones that they’ve alienated due to meth use, or whom they used to use crystal with. So please, be kind to your recovering crystal addict. They’ve had a rough ride. They could use a friend.

Meth Directions
If one thing is clear it’s that this trouble with Tina isn’t going to go away any time soon. The question is: where do we go from here? What are the solutions? How do you get people off of meth? How do you keep them off in the first place? What steps can guys on crystal take to have safer sex? What is the community doing about it? What are the social alternatives?

There are a lot of questions… and just as many answers. I’m sure you have some of them. Be a part of the conversation. Be a part of the solution.

For more info about party drugs check out "Drugs In Partyland"

References:
www.talkabouttina.org
“Deconstructing Tina” (Gay City)
www.dancesafe.org

Community Resources for gay/bi crystal users:

Strength Over Speed (not 12-step)
Mondays 2 PM, 303 17th Ave. E. (at corner of Thomas)
Tuesdays 6 PM, 1216 Pine St @ Melrose (Seattle Counseling Services)
Thursdays 2 PM, Harborview Madison Clinic - 2nd Floor, West Wing
Fridays 6 PM, 303 17th Ave. E. (at corner of Thomas)
Saturdays 7 PM, 1002 E. Seneca - Lifelong AIDS Alliance (enter from lower parking lot)
www.strengthoverspeed.org

Crystal Clear (NEON/SOS) (not 12-step)
Tuesdays 6 PM, Seattle Counseling Service
1216 Pine Street (at corner of Melrose)

Project NEON: (206) 323-1768
Free 1:1 counseling, health info for crystal users.
www.crystalneon.org

Crystal Meth Anonymous
Wednesdays 8 PM, Alano Club 1900 E. Madison
Fridays 8 PM, 303 17th Ave. E. (at corner of Thomas)
www.xtwkrs.org
www.crystalmeth.org

Seattle Counseling Service: (206) 323-1768
Adult and youth treatment, crystal meth program (NEON).
www.seattlecounseling.org

Capitol Hill Alano Club: (206) 860-9560
Daily LGBT meetings.
1900 E. Madison (at the corner of 19th)
www.capitolhillalanoclub.org

Narcotics Anonymous: (206) 790-8888
www.seattlena.org

Needle Exchange: (206) 205-7837 for all times and locations.
Capitol Hill: 6 - 8:30 PM every night, corner of 10th & Seneca (in van or inside Lifelong)
http://www.metrokc.gov/health/apu/resources/needle.htm

COMING OUT
Doing it with crystal can fuck everything up
By Anonymous

When I came out I had no idea who I was or how I was suppose to act. Was I doing it right? What did it mean to be gay? Did I want to be a woman? Did I want to be a man? Was I a top or a bottom? Was I fem or butch, a Castro clone or a cub? Was I into S&M, kink, water sports, missionary style, bush sex or the baths? Did I do party drugs? WHAT! I had no idea what being a gay man meant for me or how to do it. The only gay role models I ever saw were in films portrayed as tormented drag queens that drank themselves into oblivion, drugged out psychos on the war path or big scary men that hung out in dark alley's waiting to get their hands on you. Today we have the likes of Barney Frank, Greg Louganis, Rupert Everett, RuPaul, Esera Tuaolo, and Elton John, not to mention Harvey Milk. Even with these role models, coming out is still one of the most difficult things a gay man will face in his life. That, and for some of us being told we have HIV.

What I did know is that I wanted to be around gay men. That sent me out to the bars and around every kind of gay man you could imagine. I drank a lot, tried almost everything that was offered and experienced a great many things. Sometimes I found myself in situations I had no control of and not even knowing if I wanted to be there. Like finding myself in unfamiliar surroundings fucking and sucking away with a bunch of hot men, none of whom I recognized or waking up in the doorway of the I-Beam on a Monday morning. I was lucky I suffered no negative consequences that I would have to live with the rest of my life.

Exploring is part of coming out, and for a lot of guys that includes drinking and drugs. Today that may include crystal. Crystal is a large problem in our community, and many gay men's lives are being devastated. It starts out as a bump here and there and before you know it crystal has a hold of you and you can't get free. It can take over you and your sex life before you even know it. Men are coming out the other side having to figure out not only what kind of gay man they are, but also how to live with HIV and crystal addiction. By this time crystal rules your life and clouds everything you do and if you did it with sex they are then one. If you survive you are right back where you started, having to figure out how to be a gay man.

So, boys, think before you party. It's ok to be gay and not do drugs, especially crystal; it can really fuck up your life!!

[Note from Homohealth staff]
1 in 5 crystal users is HIV+, and your chances of getting HIV when you use crystal are 2 to 5 times higher than if you don’t. This is because when you’re high on crystal you become more sexually voracious, have a higher number of partners, and aren’t very likely to use condoms.

2006 Online Crystal Meth Survey

The purpose of this survey was to obtain information from current methamphetamine users who were also gay men and obtain their attitudes and opinions surrounding HIV and drug use. Working in collaboration with researchers at the University of Washington and staff at Lifelong AIDS Alliance a survey tool was created consisting of 29 questions. The questions were broken into 4 sub- groups that asked about drug use, sexual behavior, knowledge of services, and demographics. The survey questions were designed to obtain quantitative data about such things as length of drug use, method of drug use, HIV status, condom use, safer sex practices, and awareness of specific organizations. There was also one open ended question asking individuals how they felt about their personal sexual behavior.

The survey was made available in two formats. The first was an online version which was created through surveymonkey.com. Links to this online survey were posted on educational websites including Drugs in Partyland and Lifelong AIDS Alliance Men’s Program. There were also profiles created for a number of gay men’s sex sites that contained the survey link. These websites included, Men4Sex.com, Gay.com, Manhunt.net, Adam4Adam.com, and Craigslist. The survey was available online for 6 weeks and received responses from 186 individuals, 73 of which qualified as current users of crystal methamphetamine. The other format for the survey was a paper questionnaire that was filled out by an interviewer asking the questions in a face to face setting. Because of the population we were trying to reach we found the best way to obtain face to face surveys was to have them administered by peers. With the help of Project Neon, we were able to have two individuals who administered these surveys among other users. The interviewers were compensated with $40 in Target gift cards and completed a total of 23 face to face surveys. Both the online survey and the paper survey results were combined for the purpose of analyzing the data.

Total Respondents = 93

How long have you been using crystal meth?

• The distribution of length of crystal use was equally spread out.
• Roughly 25% of respondents fell into each category. The only exception was 5-6 years of use which only included 7%.
• Surprisingly, length of use was not attributed to age, although those who used for 6+ years tended to be older.
• Length of use was less with higher levels of education. 65% of those who had use for less than 1 year had attended college.
• As has been seen in other studies, the longer meth was used the higher the rate of HIV.

In which of the following ways do you currently, or have you ever used, crystal meth?

• The majority of people have never injected.
• If they are non-injectors then they use all other methods (snorting, smoking, booty bumping) equally.
• Those who do inject typically do not use any other method.
• 100% of those who injected reported themselves as HIV+.
• Injectors were also more likely to be using the longest, 6+ years.

How did you get started using?

• The largest response (36%) was that individuals were introduced to crystal through friends.
• The numbers were almost identical when the data was divided up by methods of use. How someone got started does not influence the method of use.
• The few people who said "other" gave responses that would fall under "friends". One person said that he was introduced through a priest.

What does using crystal meth do for you?

• Majority of people, regardless of method of use, claim they use crystal for sexual purposes (69%). This was followewd closely by more energy (58%) and to be more social (44%).
• Some other reasons not included on the list were to "escape from life" and "self-medication".

Which of the following types of information would you be interested in learning more about? (Check all that apply)

• Almost one-half (45%) were interested in information about cutting down or quitting meth.
• The next two highest responses were both related to quitting or cutting down use. Support groups (32%) and treatment programs (28%).
• HIV+ men were much more interested in cutting down or quitting than HIV- men (63% vs. 25%).
• HIV- men had more interest in topics such as HIV prevention, health risks, and safer using methods.

How do you want to get this information?

• The majority of resondents would like to get information from the internet (65%).
• Over half (53%) would be open to obtaining information from peers or other users.
• One-third of people say they would like to obtain information from flyers and one-on-one counseling sessions.

What are your biggest concerns regarding your use of crystal meth? (Check all that apply)

• Over half of men (59%) are concerned with health problems that result from crystal. This seems to coincide with the responses given about what information people would be interested in obtaining (cutting down use, treatment programs, and support groups).
• 48% are concerned with legal trouble and 45% with money issues. Almost half (40%) are worried that they can't stop.
• HIV appears to be a minimal concern among users (17%). Concerns about getting HIV increases only slightly among HIV-negative men (23%).

What types of media have you seen or heard about crystal meth? (Check all that apply)

• Flyers were the most common form of media that individuals have seen regarding meth (63%).
• About half (48%) reported seeing information about meth on television and posters.
• Although people remember seeing flyers and posters, we did not ask if they actually remember what they specifically saw.

What don't you want to hear about?

• Interestingly, 50% of men waid they do not want to hear about why they should quit. This was followed closely by why people should not start (40%). Although they do not want to be told why they should quit, previous questions indicate that they have a strong interest in obtaining information on how to quit. It is important to develop programs and campaigns that present treatment/reduction options in a manner that does not make individuals feel they are being told why they should quit, but rather how to do it if they are interested.

Which sexual role do you take most often when on crystal?

• When broken down by HIV status, HIV+ men were more likely to bottom (45%) and HIV- men were more likely to be a top (40%).

Do you take a different role when you are not high?

• HIV- men were slightly more likely to take a different role when they were not high (29%) and HIV+ men were slightly less likely to take a different role (9%).

When was your last HIV test?

• Among HIV- men, 54% have had a test within the last 6 months, 20% between 6 months and 1 year, and 20% more than 1 year.

What is your HIV status?

• HIV status was roughly equal with 48% HIV+ and 45% HIV-.
• As was noted earlier, being HIV+ is related to length of drug use and also method of using. Those who inject are more likely to be HIV+.
• The higher the level of formal education the less likely to be HIV+.

If HIV-positive, did you test positive before or after you started using crystal meth?

• Combined, 58% either tested positive after using crystal, or did not know.
• Injectors were more likely (60%) to test positive before they started using crystal.

With the last 3 guys that fucked you, how many times did you use a condom?

• The majority of men used no condoms with the last 3 people who fucked them.
• Among HIV+ men 85% used no condoms with the last 3 people who fucked them.
• Among HIV- there was some increased condom use. 33% used condoms twice, 33% used condoms all three times. Still, 26% did not use a condom at all.

With the last 3 guys that you fucked, how many times did you use a condoms?

• The majority of men did not use condoms with the last 3 people they fucked.
• 85% of HIV+ men did not use any condoms with the last 3 people they fucked.
• HIV- men used condoms more often than HIV+ men, however when they were the top they still did not use condoms 41% of the time. Only 25% used a condom with all 3 of their last sexual partners.

Do you think you practice safer sex?

• People who said they practiced safer sex were, in fact, practicing safer sex. 64% were HIV- and 27% were HIV+. 50% had tested for HIV within the last 6 months. 45% used a condom with all 3 of their last partners.
• People who said they did not practice safer sex were more likely to have HIV (65% vs. 31% HIV-negative). 60% had not had an HIV test within the last year. 93% used no condoms with their last 3 sexual partners.
• It appears that people who think they practice safer sex are actually practicing safer sex. There is no difference among people in terms of age, race, method of drug use, length of drug use, income level, or education.

In what ways do you practice safer sex? (Check all that apply)

• People reported using condoms and sex with same status partner as their most frequent means of practicing safer sex.
• Using condoms was the method used by individuals who were HIV- and beleived they practiced safer sex.
• Sex with same status partner was the answer most often given by HIV+ men and those who did not think they practiced safer sex

How do you feel about your sexual behavior?

For those who answered "Yes" to practicing safer sex:

• non-existent?? but outside of that, provocatively promiscuous
• i feel alright with it
• just fine
• I feel I am practicing safer sex
• pretty good about it
• love it, can't get enough
• fine
• Am very careful about who I play with and what I will do with them
• I feel like I am addicted to anonymous sex, and that drugs are a facilitator to a larger problem.
• I've been sexually active with men for 14 years... the precautions that I've taken haven't changed much over those years. seems to work well for me
• it isn't what i thought it would be when i had morals...lol
• Overly cautious
• Great
• I don't have much sex and what I do have is very safe. Always use condoms when getting fucked.
• From a perfectly rational perspective, I feel that it is currently very safe. I rarely engage in anal sex; even when I do, I use condoms and am not always the bottom. I do not have sex with those who are willing to share that they are HIV+. For logistical reasons, I have not been able to find time for an HIV test. To be fair, that lack of time issue also plays out elsewhere in my sexual life: I don't have enough time for frequent sex anyway. I must say, however, that when I have used crystal meth, I have been far more paranoid about my chances of being HIV+ than at other times.
• I am extremely comfortable with my own personal sexual behavior, being HIV+ for 24 years, I know what is and isn't safe. With or without meth use! I am very healthy and very happy, and have awesome CD4 count (694) and have been undetectable for the last 5-6 years. I make visits to my Dr every 3 months!
• i would rather have a steady partner
• I'm fine with it. I left a few questions blank, because in 3 years, I've only been fucked once on crystal (the crystal had nothing to do with it), and I've never fucked anyone else while on it. My crystal use has been exclusively (with the ONE exception noted above) to enhance porn and masturbation with another guy.
• I am very comfortable with myself and have been hiv+ for 24 years am very healthy and have excellent numbers. I only use meth when i am going out for the night as it does increase my energy. I have used all of my life and as I stated earlier I do it, it doesn't do me!
• Don't really have one. at this time was dating someone for 4yr that was my partner only one. not haveing sex at this time yet.

For those who answered "No" or "Don't know" if they practice safer sex:

• it is satisfying
• somewhat guilty
• I need to conform to safe practices and I currently do not. I need to use less drugs
• Non promiscuous, yet sexually active. I don't have sex w/ anyone I don't trust.
• I am comfortable with my sex practices
• Conflicted
• I feel I should practice safe sex
• not sure
• I pretty much don't have sex right now. Have been reducing my use of crystal; I'd say it's been over 6 weeks since the last time. I prefer bareback because I'm already positive and willing to take whatever risks that involves
• not really active at the moment
• It's risky. I definitely need a slap in the face...
• I only play with other hiv+ guys and don't cum inside my partners
• I don't have a problem with it. I figure that anyone who has raw/bb sex should figure that everyone is HIV+ & do what they feel most comfortable doing.
• I feel I need to be more responsible toward my friends and/or sex partners, despite how I may feel about myself and the personal choices I make.
• ech...
• I know that bottoming bareback is inherently risky, but I don't want to spend my most intimate moments covered in latex.
• I HAVE NO STRONGLY NEGATIVE FEELING ABOUT IT.
• If I become positive along the way, so be it. I know the risks and have made the choice to party once or twice a month. When partying or not I still choose to top without condoms. Why? Tired of being safe. there seemed to be more stress around testing and status when I was playing safe. Now that stress is gone and it works well for me.
• Not really an issue. I have been poz for 21 years. I only fuck with poz guys
• Bad
• ?
• inadequate

Have you heard of?

Have you tried to use their services?

What services have you used?

Where did you have your last HIV test?

What is your current living situation?

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